Queen of anarchy
by Loyalyoungqueen
Summary: my name is Hayden Harrison, I am now 30 years old, I ran away from charming 17 years ago when I was 13 years old. I know coming back to charming is going to have a lot of people pissed off at me but I ran away to protect them from what I have become, if I stayed I would have only gotten them killing either by my hands or those of my enemy...I just hope they understand one day...
1. Hayden Harrison

I knew running away that day, would one day come back to bite me in the ass. because now I am on my way back to charming after 17 years. I don't know what I should expect going back, I know that I wont have open arms waiting for me. I don't know what's going to happen when they see what has happened to me. I'm not by no means the same girl who left all that time ago...I have become cold, filled with hate, all I see is red anymore. I have become a killer.. I am a monster...not just by my looks but everything about me has made me a monster. I just hope that going back there, that people will forget what I have done.. which I know will not happen. maybe they will understand what I did and forgive me.  
But I know that is and will always be a long shot.. I use to be this sweet, happy, little girl until that night...the night that changed everything... those men and women turned me into this monster...they did this and the one who still breath shall pay for ruining my life. the scars on my body make me look that a monster, people are scared of me when they look at me...so I keep my face covered from everyone. my body is covered in bruises from head to toe. their always from fights or people trying to kill me. most of my scars are from people trying to kill me. I wont say I'm not beatable because everyone one is in someway but I am saying that I will not go down without a fight and if I'm going down so are they.  
I have always kept my past to myself...no one knows anything about me unless I wish for them to know. I am a very private person. I have done and seen so many things that will make people wonder "how is she still alive?"...I'm still alive because of that things I have done. my body is covered in tattoos...both of my thighs are covered in smiley faces with each person I have killed initial's in them...because of the smiley faces people have either called me smiles, happy, or killer. I'm in the process of getting 20 more smiley faces added on me, but i need to find someone who does tattoos... maybe I will ask Gemma ... I am almost into charming I have reached the town's city limits.


	2. Welcome home not so much

Hayden's POV:

I was right outside of charming city limits parked on the side of the road. I climb out of my truck and look and make sure my motorcycles are still tied down and in place and then I start to fix my clothes, I start to think to myself if I should turn around or not... just as I was about to turn around I see off into the distance 3 men dragging two girls behind them as those girls were screaming and crying.  
I open my truck door grabbing the keys and making sure I had my guns and my knife. I make sure to lock my doors and I quietly start to follow them as I'm getting closer I slow down until I'm directly behind them and that's when I take my gun and shoot the closest one to me in the back of the head. just as the other two turned around the girls had screamed while being thrown to the ground. as I was lifting my gun up again to shoot another guy one of them took a shot, hitting me in the shoulder, it stung a little but I quickly shot the both of them in the head. then I took my knife out and ripped opened their shirts and carved a big smiley face into their torso.." make that 23 more" I whispered to myself..  
I would have figured the girls would have ran off by now but no, they were still here.. I turn toward them and raise an eyebrow and I slowly walking up to them and stick my hand out to the both of them. "come on I'll give you girls a ride back into town' I told them as I lifted them off the ground I let their hands go and turned around and stared heading back to my truck, as I'm walking I don't hear either of the girls moving behind me so I turn around getting annoyed " hurry your asses up I don't have all god damn day for fuck sake's" I yelled making them whimper. that got them to start moving. I was already at my truck and starting to climb inside as I waiting for the girls to climb in both of them hopping I the back, as the back down shuts I start my truck as the engine roars I smile. I fix my bandanna on my face so those two girls don't see my face.  
I turn a look back at them the back at the road. I have just reached town and I pull over to the side and look back at them again " get out" I muttered, neither of these blonde bimbos moved, I shook my head and muttered I wish I didn't have to do it this way" I turn around and pull my bandanna then I turn so they can see my face, " I said get the fuck out you dumb bitches" I yelled making them jump and quickly climb out, I made sure they were out of the way before I sped of to Teller Morrow. I pull into Teller Morrow and I see everyone is gone besides one motorcycle and the prospects I see walking around. I smirk as i park and climb out of my truck.  
I make sure to put my bandanna back on my face. I grab my purse and grab my keys and lock my truck up. I grab the carton of cigarettes and the 2 dozen roses i bought for Gemma since i knew she would be pissed at me still after all this time. as I was walking up to the office one of the prospects tried to stop me but I just shrugged him off and muttered " fuck off kid" then kept walking into Gemma's office and out the stuff on her desk knowing she'll be back soon. I walked back out to my truck and grabbed my bag of clothes and my other bag of weapons and my computers, then I started walking towards the club house and walking behind the bar completely ignoring the man sitting at the bar.  
I grab a bottle of jack and go lay down in my old room in the back of the club house when I get back there I noticed no has really touched it. I shut the door so I can take of everything covering my scars and bruises and now I'm waiting for all hell to break loose.

Half-Sack's POV:  
I had just got done doing everything I was so post to do today just as I was about to head towards the clubhouse to get a beer and black truck with 3 motorcycle tied down in the back pulled in and as the person was getting out I noticed it was a girl with long black hair but I was hoping I could see her face but she had sunglasses and a bandanna covering her face and her wearing all black doesn't help either. as she was walking towards Gemma's office with flowers and cigarette's, I go and try to stop her but as I do she just shrugs me off and tells me "fuck off kid" like who does the bitch think she is?  
I turn back to look at her as I grab my phone out and call Jax. when Jax answer he seemed pissed off, so I know this is going to just make it worse. "what" he answered the phone." Jax...um..some girl just pulled up and put stuff in your moms office and then just walked into to the club house" I muttered out. "you just let her walk around and you didn't try fucking stopping her, what the fuck is wrong with you?!" he yelled through the phone.  
"I trie..." I started to say but jax interrupted me.."what's her name? what does she look like?" he asked.. I knew my answer was going to piss him off even more..."that's the thing I don't know she had her whole face covered with a bandanna and sunglasses and she was also wearing all black" I answered back..."we're on our way back don't let her go anywhere" he yelled. then he just hung up.. I was going to call Gemma but instead I just texted her telling her that someone is here and dropped stuff off inside of her office.

Hayden's POV:  
I set my bags down on my old bed the I walking to the attached bathroom and started the shower. I walked back to the bedroom door and locked it and put a chair under the door nob so know one can bust in like I know their going to try and do.  
I take everything off as I was taking my shirt and pants off I hit my ribs and winced from the fresh bruise from my fight I had a few days ago. after I put the water on hot I was my hair and body then I climb out to here banging and yelling at the door. I just ignored it while I picked out clothes and got dressed and then I walked to the bathroom and mad sure my face was covered. and then I moved the chair and got myself ready for what was to come..

what do you think is going to happen?  
do you think the club is going to let her stay?  
how will they react when they see her face?

If you would like to read more comment and tell me.


	3. I was protecting you I always was

Jax POV:

I walked into the store and grabbed what I needed then put it up on the counter "Hey, Louise" I said. she smiles "You know, you can buy these by the case. Be a lot cheaper" she said. "No, a box at a time keeps me humble. Get a pack of smokes too, darling" I told her. as I looked at the bag I noticed a book inside the bag,  
I looked up at her and she smiles I said "It was my favorite. What the hell is that?" I look up and I look out the window, "Oh, shit!" I yelled as I run out of the door.

The warehouse of weapons was blown to pieces. I was walking behind Clay and Vic when Clay asked him "What the hell happened?" Vic just shook his head and said "Propane thanks caught fire. Ammo was in there. The place just blew." "shit" clay said as he kick some of the burnt down scraps. "Yeah. The fire dick says it was arson. Saw a lot of boot prints" Vic said. "Cowboy boots?" Clay asked. "Yeah, I think so" he replied.  
then Tig spoke up " Shit-eating Mayans, man" my phone then started ringing, so I walked away "what" I yelled into the phone. " Jax...um..some girl just pulled up and put stuff in your moms office and then just walked into to the club house" Half-sack muttered out. "you just let her walk around and you didn't try fucking stopping her, what the fuck is wrong with you?!" I yelled through the phone..as I was yelling clay walked up to me with the rest of the guys.  
"I trie..." he started to say but I interrupted.."what's her name? what does she look like?" he asked.. I knew his answer was going to piss me off even more..."that's the thing I don't know she had her whole face covered with a bandanna and sunglasses and she was also wearing all black" he answered back..."we're on our way back don't let her go anywhere" I yelled through the phone before hang up on him.  
I turned to Clay "We need to go back to the club house now some bitch just showed up walking around like she owns the place" I told him and the guys "no one tried to stop her? did the even try to find out who she is?" he asked pissed off as well. we all left on our bikes back to the club house. when we get to the club house I see a big truck with 3 motorcycles tied down in the back. as I was looking at the bikes one of them looked familiar, like really familiar but I couldn't place.  
as I saw Clay look at the bikes to I saw his face soften a little but then I could tell who ever that girl was he knew and that girl being her pissed him off. I started to ask him if he knew who it was but he just put his hand up stopping me and he walked off into the club house where half-sack told me she was. I figured I would let clay deal with so I called my mother.

Clay's POV:  
when I looked into the back of that black truck and saw one of the bikes that I could recognize anywhere, it use to be my brothers bike before he was killed to this day we still don't know who killed him or his son's,  
I knew the only person who would have that bike would be my niece Hayden. I knew my eyes had soften a little because I saw Jax about to ask me something but I put my hand up to stop him. I stomped off into the club knowing exactly where she would be at. when I got to the door that was off limits to everyone, I tried to open the door but it wouldn't budge. so I started banging on the door until she opened it. I hear a chair being moved and I heard the door being unlocked.  
as I opened the door she had her back to me. I put my hand on her shoulder to turn her around. but she shoved my hand off, but I wasn't taking no for an answer, "turn around now Hayden" I told her but she wouldn't. " I can't, you don't understand I'm not the same person who left uncle" she said. I was about to say something but she cut me off. " what I have become, everything I have done to survive, what I had to see everything that has happen in the past 17 years have turned me into a monster, it has made and cause me to look like a monster...so please don't make me" she said.  
I didn't understand why she didn't just turn around, she should know that no matter what has happened or she has done I would never see her as a monster. all I can do is wonder what happen to her over the years. I turned her around forcefully, when I did she kept her head down and pulled her hat down so I couldn't see her face at all. I start to think to myself even more, why did she come back?

Hayden's POV:  
only if he had listen to me when I told him I can't let him see me like this I couldn't let him know what has happen to me. when my uncle forcefully turned me around I made sure to keep my head down along with pulling my hat down to make sure he couldn't see my face, I knew the moment he did he would question me along with look at me with disgust because I wasn't and would never be the same sweet, loving, and caring little girl he once knew. I'm not exactly sure why I even came back, maybe it was because I missed home or because I had unfinished business here, or it was a little bit of both. I walked away from my uncle and to my purse to grab my cigarette's and lighter along with the bottle of Jack.  
I knew eventually everyone here would see my face or even hear about the with the scary face from those to fucking crow eaters, fucking nasty bitches, don't know when to keep their mouths shut. shit I honestly didn't expect them to, if they can't keep their legs close, then clearly they can't keep their mouths shut. I pushed by my uncle, as I was walking past him he grabbed my arm and pulled me back to him lifting on of his hands to my chin, "I'm telling you, you don't want to do this...just listen to me" I told him quietly, but what does he do? he doesn't fucking listen, that's what he does. " I already told you, your my niece it doesn't matter what you did or what has happen your still family" he muttered.  
he then took my hat off and lifted my face. the moment I looked into his eyes I knew that he was scared of what he saw. that was all it took for me to grab the hat and put it back on while walking outside of the clubhouse. while I was walking out I bumped into a crow eater.. " watch where your going stupid bitch" I hear her muttered. that's all it took for me to stop walking and put everything I had in my hands down on the bar. I turned around, " what the fuck did you just say to me" I asked her. " I said watch where your going stupid bitch, did you not hear me the first time?" she said again while laughing. I grabbed her by her throat and took one of the knifes I had hidden under the back of my shirt next to my gun.  
I put the blade to her throat, while moving the blade up to here face I stopped on her cheek and slowly put pressure making her bleed slightly. " would you like to repeat that, you cheap whore" I told her. then this bitch wanted to laugh like I was joking, I lifted my face up to look at her in the eyes, I could tell when I did she was scared of what she saw, but she tried to play it off. " do you really think I'm playing with you? I'm not in the mood for your dumb ass" I told her. " no I think its funny that you think any of these guys won't stop you from hurting me, I mean a lot more to them then you will, I mean look at you, you look like a monster,  
nun of these men here or anywhere is going to want someone who looks like you" she told me.  
I knew by now everyone's eyes were on us, but right now I didn't care I was already pissed of and now have been pushed to far by this whore, I knew I would probably get shit from my uncle about this latter but who gives a fuck. I let her go, making her think I let her won, I slowly put the knife back as I grabbed my gun with the silencer on it and I looked at her in the eyes as I stepped back and lifted the gun quickly and before anyone of them could protest,  
I pulled the trigger shooting her between the eyes. I hear a few people gasp and I hear some people say "she's like another happy, just like him she doesn't care who he kills" who the fuck is happy? I grab my things off the bar and I put my head back down and walk outside and walk to the my truck, as I'm walking I see one of the prospects walking by " hey, you kid come here" I yelled at him. I see him walking back to me slowly. "yes ma'am" he whispered. did this kid just call me ma'am? "okay well first don't call me ma'am, you can call me smiles, alright? and second can you give Gemma this number and tell her to call me" I gave him a piece of paper with my number. "can you do that kid?" I asked again.  
I could tell I scared him, which is a good thing. " y..y..yes" he muttered quietly. I turned around and unlocked my truck while hopping inside I started it and rolled the windows down while I lit my cigarette and backed out and sped out of the parking lot. I knew everyone there was pissed off at me, mainly my uncle. after I left the clubhouse I drove to my house that I had bought a week before moving. I also had a room added for my weapons. when I turned down my street I pulled into my drive way fast and then I turned my truck off and opened my tail gate down and started unloaded my motorcycle, as I was unloading them..  
I heard people walking behind me. I slowly stood up and grabbed my gun and I pulled it out from behind me, and I slowly turned around and pointed my gun at them. when I looked up I noticed it was some of the guys from the club, so I put my gun away and finished taking the bikes out of the back of my truck, as I was doing that they walked up and took the bike from me and took it out of the back of my truck and then they started taking the others out as well so I hopped out and started walking to the bike that use to be my fathers, and I started walking up to the house and I put it in the garage the other two guys did the same as I did.  
I turned away from them as they kept looking at me. that's when one of me spoke up " I'm Bobby and this is Tig" he was about to continue but I stopped him by saying "I know who you two are.. now leave" I started walking to my front door to unlock it as I was doing so I only heard one pair of foot steps behind me as well as a motorcycle taking off when I turned around I saw it was Bobby still here " I said leave un...bobby" I almost slipped up and called him uncle like I use to... I knew if he was still the same as he use to be he wasn't going to go anywhere,  
so I just walked inside and left the door opening knowing he was going to fallow me..."I knew it was you the moment I heard them talking about you" he said. "how did you know?" I muttered. " I always knew where you were babygirl " he said. I flinched when he called me babygirl, his nickname for me. "no y.." I started to say but he cut me off. " when you first ran away you went to the cabin then after a few days you ran off and jumped on to a cargo shit all the way to Russia and you have been there since a year ago" I stated.  
I was completely surprised why didn't he tell Clay I wondered " why didn't you tell clay?" I asked him. "because I knew you had your reasons for running, so why stop you?" he told me. I knew I could trust him so I took my hat off along with my sunglasses. then I turned around for him to see my face.


	4. You don't understand

**Bobby's POV:**  
we had just gotten back to the club house and when we did clay stomped off to the back rooms and started bang on the door. all the guys were looking around a little lost about what was happening with the girl no one seem to know. that's when I looked over to piney and shook my head slightly, we knew who it was, I knew she would come home one day, I knew that when she ran she had her reason, I didn't know why she did it, but that is something she will one day tell us, but for now things are going to get bad before they get better. when she left I made sure to keep track of her, I never told anyone besides piney where she was. over the years stories have gotten around about a girl who was killing people from rapist all the way to bikers who have turned on their clubs. I only hoped it wasn't her. I never knew if it was or not.  
I walked off outside to smoke and after a while Hayden stomped out and to her truck and drove off, I called Tig over to me and told him to fallow me and then we started fallowing her. we arrived at a pretty big house, that was actually next to happy's apartment. Tig and I got off our bikes and went to go help her take the bikes out of the back, when there were all off we helped move them into the garage. she turned away from us as we kept looking at her. that's when I spoke up " I'm Bobby and this is Tig" I was about to continue but she stopped me by saying "I know who you two are.. now leave" she started walking to the front door to unlock it as she was doing, so I told Tig to go ahead and take off then  
I started fallowing behind her, when she said " I said leave un...bobby" she almost slipped up and called me uncle like she use to...that's when I told her "I knew it was you the moment I heard them talking about you"..."how did you know?" she muttered. " I always knew where you were babygirl " I said to her. she flinched when I called her babygirl, it was my nickname for her. "no y.." she started to say but I cut her off. " when you first ran away you went to the cabin then after a few days you ran off and jumped on to a cargo shit all the way to Russia and you have been there since a year ago" I stated.  
" why didn't you tell clay?" she asked me. "because I knew you had your reasons for running, so why stop you?" I said to her. after we walked inside and I shut the door behind me. that's when she started to take her hat and sunglasses off and turn around, I can't say I wasn't completely and utterly shocked about what I was seeing, I know I had people watching her but they never told me about hat she looked like. I started to say something to her "babygirl..." but she cut me off. " I don't want to talk about it okay?" I just nodded my head. I didn't know what to think or say right now...

Hayden's POV:  
I knew that he would be in shock after him seeing my face. which is why I walked up to him and looked into his eyes, but all he did was look right back into my eyes. " I'm going to go shower and change and then I'm going to cook dinner would you like to stay?" I asked him.."y..yes I would like that" he muttered. I was already heading up to my room. I started the shower as I walked back into my room I grabbed my clothes and put them on my bed, then I headed back to the shower and got undressed and I tied my hair up and got into the shower, I washed my body and shaved everything that needed to be shaved.  
as I was getting out I heard mumbling downstairs. which I'm sure was just bobby on the phone with someone from the club. I dried my body of and started getting dressed. after I got dressed I headed down to the kitchen and started making dinner, I made extra for him to bring back to the boys at the club. when I was done cooking I made me a glass of wine and him a glass of beer. I knew he was going to ask a lot of questions, I hoped he wouldn't but I knew he would at some point but I just wish to eat and sleep. but I knew that if I didn't answer some of his questions,  
I wouldn't be going to bed any time soon. "so I had a question" I asked him. "what" he replied with. " I'm assuming you heard about what happen at the clubhouse. Well, anyways I heard a few of the guys say I'm just like Happy...who the fuck is Happy?" I questioned him. "Happy is an enforcer for the club, He is from Tacoma, Washington but frequently visits the club, his name coincides with the fact that he has a happy face tattooed onto him every time he kills someone. " bobby answered. I smirked to my self when bobby told me about his smile face tattoos as his kills just like I do...that's also when I noticed bobby looking at both of my thighs since their completely covered in smiley face tattoos.  
I smile to myself a little. "so who was on the phone with you?' I asked him. he smiles and tells me " Gemma called saying they were having dinner and asked if we wanted to go" I just look at him and then looked at l the food I cooked.." you can go if you like, no one is stopping you" I muttered. " I'm not leaving with out you" he stated. " bobby I don't know if their ready to see what I look like right now, plus there is going to be children there, I don't want to scare them. plus you didn't see the way Clay looked at me when he saw me" I whispered loud enough for him to hear. " babygirl I think its you who's not ready to see them again, your scared their going to hate you, that's not going to happen, now take your ass upstairs and get dressed, understood?" I just nodded my head and got up and headed upstairs. " while you get dressed I'm going to go over to the apartments next door and get happy alright?" he told me. I just yelled "yeah" back.

when I get upstairs I walk to my closet and grab out my clothes and start getting dressed, after I get my shoes on I was downstairs and I see bobby waiting for me "are you ready?" he asked. I just put my finger up telling him just a minute. I walk back into the kitchen and walk to one of the shelf's and I open it and pull on one of the cook books and the wall opens, I turn and see bobby looking at we with surprise but also wonder.  
I walk of into my gun room and go and grab my guns and a holster and put it on and as I'm turning around I see bobby walk on in and his mouth drops. "do you really need all these guns?" he asked me still in shock. "you never know what your going to need so, yes I do need all these" I replied.  
I stated pushing bobby out so I can close the wall back up. "you ready" I asked. "yeah, umm Happy is meeting us out there" I just nodded, on the way out I grabbed my half face mask and put it on before walking out of my house I go to the garage and grab the motorcycle I was given by my father. I meet bobby and this happy guy at the end of my driveway after shutting my garage door. I start my back and start to fallow the other guys to Gemma's house. when we got to Gemma's I parked on the side of the street next to all the other bikes, when I was climbing off I could see happy staring at my ass from the corner of my eye, I just smirked to myself and I saw bobby noticed to and saw him push happy a little, while laughing.  
I grabbed a cigarette out and turned around and walked to a spot that had no light and I lit it before turning back around I offered one to Happy and Booby.  
They declined and I told them to just go on with out me, and that I will meet them inside. Bobby walked up to me "if your not inside in five minutes I am coming back out here to get you, do you understand me?" he stated to me. I just nodded my head and wish he would leave so I can be by myself. as they were walking off I saw Happy look back at me again. god damn it what is his deal I'm getting tired of him always looking at me.  
I just continue to smoke. I knew I was pushing the five minute mark. but I didn't care I wasn't ready to go inside yet, but just like bobby said he would, he came outside. that's when I put my half face mask to cover from below my eyes and down. bobby saw this and just shook his head and told me "you know babygirl you don't have to cover your face, not around us you don't" I just looked at him. " yes, bobby I do" and I pushed past him.

Happy's POV:  
all I could think about is how this girl could kill someone without even blinking, how could a girl do it? I know it sounds sexist but its not, how can a women be so emotionally damaged that she has no emotions in her eyes.  
when she was at the clubhouse I was sitting in the back corner, I only looked up when I heard something being slammed up against the wall. I saw this girl walk in before all the guys came back, and the thing is I still didn't know her name, but I did hear a few people the older guys say she's back. who is she? all I can do is wonder why she keeps her face hidden the whole time she's been here. but I will add this girl has a nice body, big hips and ass along with the perfect size breast. when we got to Gemma's and she was climbing of her bike, all I could do was stare at her ass and don't get me started on her lace top. after bobby went over and talked to her he walked back to me "let's go inside" he said. I didn't say anything back.  
I just kept looking at that girl.  
I was trying to figure her out. that's when bobby shoved me forward. "what's her name?" I muttered to bobby. " her name is Hayden, she is Clay's niece" he said. finding out she was related to clay was a surprised, because I didn't know clay had a brother as well. when we got inside everyone turned their head quickly towards the door, I'm sure they were expect Hayden to walk through the door with us, but that's when bobby spoke up " she's outside still, just give her time, she'll be inside in a few minutes alright?" some people just nodded but most of them just looked around confused about what bobby was talking about.

Bobby's POV:  
I knew she would need some space before she came inside so I had given her five minutes to be by herself before I went outside and got her. after I told everyone she would be in, in a few, well I was mainly telling Gemma, Clay, and piney, they understood but the other guys looked at us confused and wanting to ask questions about who was here. but when I looked at my watch, her five minutes were up.  
when I went out to get her she put her mask back over her face which caused me to just shake my head, I tried to tell her that she didn't need to hide her face but she just ignored me and pushed past me. I walked a little faster to get in front of her so I could open the door for her. I got to the door just before she did, I could she was a little nervous but she was trying to hide it. I opened the door and nudged her to go inside.

Hayden's POV:  
if someone asked if I was nervous, that would be a understatement I'm more then nervous, I am freaking out on the inside. after bobby nudged me to go inside, I slowly walked inside and I could feel everyone's eyes on me, I didn't like this feeling at all, I was never one for attention, I hated being in the middle of it. as I was walking in I looked over and say Gemma standing there with tears in her eyes but I also saw that she was pissed at me. I just stood there and looked at her. I didn't know how she would react. she walked up to me and look me in the eyes. I looked back at her but that's when she slapped me, when she did some of the guys jumped up to try and pull her away but clay and bobby stopped them and that's when she hit me 2 more times before pulling me into a hug. I knew she was going to hit me or ignore me. I wasn't mad that she hit me I deserved it. I hugged her back before she took my hand and pulled me out of the room and into her room. that's when she hugged me more. " Gemma...stop crying okay" I whispered, hope I didn't set her off, which thankfully I didn't. " baby I missed you so much, don't ever think about running off again do you here me? because if you do I will kill you myself" she laughed but I knew she wasn't joking.  
that's when she lifted her hands up and started undoing my mask and took it off, I was going to stop her but there was no point, I had to stop hiding, I couldn't hide forever. when I looked into her eyes I didn't see any emotions all she did was run her hands over the scars before kissing them and pulling me into a hug. after we pulled away I went to reach for my mask but she pulled it away, "your not hiding your face in my house, your going to be proud of what you look like and your going to stop hiding, do you understand me" she said, I knew I wouldn't win so I just nodded my head. Gemma grabbed my hand and started leading me back out to the dinning room where everyone was still waiting on us to eat, when we walked into the room, all the talking stopped and all eyes were back on me again but this time everyone's eyes were on my face. Gemma just grab my hand tighter and pulled me behind her and as we were walking by piney he grabbed my hand and ushered Gemma on. he stood up and pulled me into a hug before whispering into my ear " I'm glad your home" and he made the prospect move so I could sit next to him, I sat down, when I looked over to see who was sitting on the other side I noticed it was happy. when I looked over my eyes met his. I just stared at him before looking away. but still no one said anything yet, most of them were still looking at me or some were whispering about me.. but that's when Clay spoke up. " everyone, this is my niece Hayden, I expect everyone to welcome her" that's when people started throwing questions at me.  
I was feeling overwhelmed...but that's when bobby spoke up " hey fuckers, give her some fucking space" I was grateful for that. that's when everyone started passing the food around. after we were done eating everyone got up and started moving to the living room, I went to the kitchen to grab a beer and the head out back, to smoke, I saw one of the guys fallowing me but I just ignored him. I was almost out the door when he stopped me, " so how much" he asked.  
I turned around and looked at him like he had 3 heads. I just looked at him and went to turn around but instead I turn and faced him and that's when I punched him in the face knocking him on his ass, that's when I put the heel of my foot on his chest and leaned down and took one of my knifes and put it against his throat and looked down at him, I looked up at everyone. " the next time one of you motherfuckers want to ask me that I will slit your throat, do you understand me" I yelled at them, they all just looked at me, i pushed down the knife a little to make him bleed before I got up and walked out back, a little while later happy walked out.


	5. Tall dark and handsome

Hayden's POV:  
After Happy walked outside with two beers in his hand. He offered me the other beer. After I took the beer from him I offered him a cigarette. I expected him to question me and give me shit for hitting one of his brothers but the only thing you did was sitting next to me we sit in silence. I thought it would have been uncomfortable but it wasn't. I'm pretty sure by now every guy inside probably hates me for after what I've done. But that asshole deserved what he got even if it was someone I knew it would have done the same thing that I did to that kid. I started to wonder why happy even came outside. I can tell he wasn't't the one to talk to just like I was he was more the type of person that prefers actions over words. The way he carried himself was different from the other guys. He wasn't't so laid-back as the others I could tell he has done stuff that no one else could that he was the one that did most of the killing for the Club. I could tell people either respected him or they feared him because of what he could do to them and their family. I could also tell he was underestimated. Not many people understood him. That's when I turned and looked at him and I asked him "why did you come out here? Did they send you out here to question me? Making you do their work like a dog?" I knew I was going to piss him off. His eyes flashed over to me and I noticed his eyes darkened. And to be honest I don't care that I pissed him off but I wanted to be left alone and I had a feeling someone most likely sent him out here to talk to me. " women you need to watch who your talking to I'm not someone you want to piss off" he hissed at me. I just looked at him and laughed. I could tell they pissed him off even more if you're laughing at him butt like I said before I never cared. "So which one of those stupid fucks sent you out here?" I asked him. He just looked at me, i stared back not backing down. And by the looks in his eyes I can tell no one has actually stood up to him. I hope he realized I'm not some weak little crow eater that he can just walk all over and be okay with it. I'm not some woman he won't put them in their place...don't get me wrong Happy was fucking sexy but tonight I just wasn't in the mood for anyone's shit tonight...Happy is basically the full package...Tall, Tattooed, Handsome, and I can't forget the right amount of darkness. I could tell happy wasn't going to answer me so I just got up and put the cigarette out and drinking the rest of the beer in the bottle then putting it down on the table and walking back inside. I was kind of a little annoyed with him what is Let It Go it went to search for Gemma. As I was walking to the house I ran into the guy had punched. I could tell he wasn't't happy to see me butt he just looked at me and walked away pissed off. I found humor in it considering all these guys think they're on top of the world and can have anything and everything they want. But that's not how it works around here not anymore, not with me, not ever. After a while I have finally found Gemma she was sitting in the living room with clay. When I had walked in the room I could tell everyone stop talking and looked at me. I had walked up to Gemma and told her " I'm going to head out now I have things I gotta do I will most likely call you tomorrow if not I'll show up at the garage later tomorrow goodnight" how to tell him you are upset I didn't even give me time to say anything to me before I walked out the door I grabbed my cigarettes out of my pocket lighting one up before hopping on my bike and starting it. I want around town until I found a liquor store. I pulled up to the liquor store and Park my bike before going inside and buying 3 packs of cigarettes and 2 bottles of Jack Daniels. I realize my face wasn't covered when I looked up and saw the look on the girl's face but I was too irritated and annoyed to even give a shit about what she saw or she thought about my face after handing her the money I growled at her slightly because she was looking at me and it was starting to piss me off. I walked outside of the store and I got back home and I can start heading to my house. By the time I got home I went inside and headed right upstairs to the bathroom and I turned on the shower then I started to undress and then got in the shower. After I was done washing my hair and body I heard a noise downstairs so I left the shower on and climbed out wrapping a towel around my body and slowly walked to my room taking my gun out of its holster and I started to slowly walk down stairs by the time I got downstairs I saw his shadow in the kitchen going through things and I slowly walked behind them making sure you didn't hear me and I put the gun behind his head and told him to turn around what are you turned around I noticed it was one of the club's prospects. I put my gun down but still at my side. "What the fuck are you doing in my house?" i hissed. " c..clay had sent me to see what i could find out about why your back" he whispered. After he had mention my uncles name i became filled with rage, i was beyond pissed. I looked at the prospect before i could say anything else i heard a nose in the living room. " who else is with you punk" i hissed. I grab the Prospect by his shirt and pulling into the living room. I turn my head and look the lights on and when I do I look up and I see tig. I pushed the prospect closer to tig. "What the fuck!" i hissed. I pull my gun back out as i point it at them. "Both of you get the fuck out of my house now, before i fucking kill both of you motherfuckers" i hissed at them. I was trying to control my angry but i was close to only seeing red. Why could my uncle just come to meme? Did he really not trust me? He's going to be getting his shit handed to him tomorrow. He doesn't understand how bad he just stepped over the line tonight. After tig and the kid ran out of the house i set the alarm amd headed upstairs to get dressed and ready for bed. I let my towel drop to the ground as i walked over to my bed where my clothes had been layed out before my shower. after getting dressed i grabbed my Journal and one of the bottle of Jack that I bought and a pack of my cigarettes then walked back downstairs and went outside and sat in one of the chairs out back. After you open the bottle I took them down then I took a cigarette and lit it. Then I started a new page in my journal.  
 _Have you ever just had that moment where you're just thinking to yourself about everything that happened and has gotten you to where you are now? Right now'that's all that keeps going through my head. I keep wondering what if I'd never did come back here where would I be at? Everything I have done and everything I've had to do,is something that no one should ever have ever do. Always wondering who's coming after you or what's going to happen to you. The only thing I never cared about was who or what was going to come after me. The way I have lived my life' I have lived Without Regrets. Most people don't understand until they live the life that I have and seen the things that I have. No one will ever understand what it's like to live with the scars that I live with. No one has to go around being looked at like a monster like I have to. I'm just glad it was me instead someone else in my family.. I'm not sure what I would have done if it was someone else. This life I live, isn't something to want. the life of killing or be killed. I just wish everyone would understand why I have done what I done...I didn't do this for myself, everything I have done I have done for them.._

after i had finished writing I closed it and grabbed my things and head upstairs for bed. I was still pissed. but for me going to bed pissed off was something I was use to. I just hope Clay knows what's coming to him tomorrow. he had no right doing what he did. the moment my head hit the pillow I was already drifting off to sleep.


	6. You got what you deserve

Hayden's POV:  
I was never a morning person, every morning always ended up being the same. I always wake up even more pissed off then I got to bed. it's never something new. but today Clay is going to learn what happens when you cross me. I know he is my uncle but that doesn't mean a damn thing. you don't get away with send men into my house and expect to getaway with it. I lay in bed for a few more minutes before climbing out of bed, as I got out of bed I stretched then walk to the bathroom to go pee and then I started the shower, as I was waiting for the water to heat up, I walk back to the room and made the bed then I walked into my walk-in-closet and picked out my clothes for the day. after picking out clothes to wear I put them on the bed then headed back to the bath room. I stripped out of my clothes and climbed into the shower. after washing my hair and body and shaving what needed to be shaved. after drying myself off I put my hair up in the towel then walked into the room and started to get dressed. after getting dressed I walked down into my hidden room with all my weapons in it and grabbed the ones I wanted for the day. after doing so I went to the kitchen and grabbed a water and my phone then when to the garage and got on my bike that I bought I decided not to take my fathers bike today, just because I need to do something things and I don't want damage done to that bike. after walking the bike out of the garage I shut it then I climbed on and started it. and headed to TM. as I was pulling into TM I see Jax and Happy out front on the bench smoking.

I parked my bike across from everyone else's. after I cut my bike off I pull out a cigarette and light it as 'm walking up to Jax and happy. "is Clay around?" I grumble looking around and I see the prospect working in the garage, then I see Tig out of the corner on my eye walking with clay. I drop my cigarette and step on while walking a few before running at Clay and tackling him before repeatedly punching him the face. by this point I was seeing red and only red. I was pissed I had every right to be, this piss of shit had the nerve to send people into my home to go through my shit because he didn't trust me. if only he knew what I knew about his past, what he has done, his and Gemma's betrayal to this club. As I continued to punch him I felt something crack under my hands...that's when I took my gun out and held it to his face, "give me a god damn good reason why I should put a bullet in your head right now, you piece of shit" I growled in his face. all he did was laugh at me " I would put that gun away bitch, if you don't want the truth coming out about why you left" he muttered. I just looked at him.. he wouldn't do that to me or this club would he? would he really bring up something that could destroy this club and him. "you wouldn't" I growled again. while I was distracted someone grabbed me and started pulling me towards the club house.

Happy's POV:  
Have you ever just had that one person who you just can't get off your mind? Well before today i have never. I don't do feelings. I'm not a man who does relationships. I'm the kind of guy who just fucks then leaves. I don't want an ol' lady or even have kids. I'm a killer. That's all I'll ever be. I don't have time for an ol' lady I have the club, the club comes before anything. this girl is going to cause a lot of shit. she's going to piss a lot of people off. but I have a feeling she doesn't care. I here the guys and the other ol' lady's muttering she's just like me, she's ruthless, cold, a killer. some say she's worse then me. Jax and I were sitting outside of TM smoking when I saw her pull in and park across from all of our bikes. Jax was starting to say something but before he could she interrupted "is Clay around?" she grumble. before any of us could answer she started running at something or someone, me and Jax quickly turned around and as we turned around just in time to see her tackle Clay and start punching Clay in the face over and over again. me an Jax got up and ran towards them, by the time we got there she already had a gun to his head, that's when me and Jax stepped in. I grabbed Hayden while Jax picked Clay up. even with her struggling to get me to let her go but I just tighten my arms around her. and while she was struggling her shirt fell a little down her back and I noticed the deep scars all across the top of her back. once I got her in the club she shoved me off of her and stormed off to the bar and grabbed a bottle of jack and go and sit in the chapel. I just walked and sat down at the bar. that's when I heard Clay come walking in pissed off " where the fuck is that stupid little bitch" he yelled. when I looked at his face I could tell she broke his nose and given him two black eyes. that's when I heard her yelling at Clay " I'm in here you piece of shit" she growled. he walked into the chapel and slammed the door shut behind him. I just turned around and continue to listen and drink my beer.

Hayden's POV:  
to stay i was still pissed would be an understatement. I was so pissed I was starting to shake. I haven't honestly been this pissed in a long Ass time. After clay slammed the door, I could tell me sitting in his sit pissed him off even more. I stomped up to me and through the bottle of jack at the wall before grabbing me by my throat and shove me up against the wall. "what the fuck is wrong with out?!" he yelled in my face. but I just looked at him and push him off of me." what the fuck is wrong with you? what gives you the right to send people into my house to go through my shit!" I yelled back. " I don't trust you, after what you done to this family, I will never trust you, I honestly don't want you here any longer then you need to be." he muttered. I knew no matter how much he said I was welcomed here I wasn't and I never would be. but he doesn't control me or what I do the quicker he learns that the easier things are you going to be. " when are you going to fucking understand I did what I had to fucking survive. he had to be fucking stopped. no one else would have stopped him if I didn't. so don't go telling me you don't trust me because I did what you pussy ass motherfuckers wouldn't. and for one you can't tell me what to do, you do not own me. I owe you nothing" I screamed at him before shoving him into the table. after slamming the door open everyone's head turned towards me. I just went and grabbed a beer and looking around for someone to take my anger out on. I looked around to see if I could find Jax. once I spotted him, he was sitting with Tig and Happy smoking.

as I was walking up to them I could see Happy looking at me, his eyes only held darkness, no emotion in them. and that's when I knew I was going to have a go with him in the ring. I could tell Happy didn't have a problem putting a lady in her place so he shouldn't have a problem fighting me tonight. once I reached Jax I leaned over and whispered in his ear, " me and Happy, ring tonight, set it up" once I pulled away from his ear I saw the look in his eyes like I was crazy. " are you sure that's what you want to do?" he questioned me. " I'm sure he is the only one who won't be a pussy about hitting me. I'll be back in a hour so have it set up. and make sure he knows he doesn't have a choice." I muttered before walking of and out the door of the club house and to my bike before heading back to my house to change and grab some clothes to fight him in. after getting home I ran upstairs and changed my clothes I decides I was just going to show up in the clothes ill be fighting in then change afterwards. I was taking my truck tonight since I planned on wearing a dress when I was done fighting Happy tonight. I grabbed my black jacket and my keys along with my gun and headed out to the truck and hopping in and cranking it up and made my way to TM. when i was pulling in i saw a shit load of people outside gathered around the ring i saw happy standing in the ring as well. i smirked as i saw that. i was glad i was right about him not being a pussy, i wouldn't mind seeing what he could do outside the ring as well. once i parked i headed towards the ring...


	7. I'm not just some girl

Hayden's POV:  
After climbing out of my truck and heading towards the ring, I handed my things to Half-Sack the clubs prospect. Then I climbed into the ring and I knew the moment I got into that ring I was going to get whispers and glares towards me. It was an unspoken rule, that unless you were called into the ring by a patched member you do not step foot into the ring. The ring was a place for the men in the club to "talk" out their problems using their fist, then once they were done they wouldn't have a problem with one another.  
I started looking around to see if I could spot happy in the crowed of people, I almost thought for a second he wasn't here until I noticed him talking to Tig and Jax. That's when I walked over to the other side of the ring so I knew he would hear me yell. "Lowman, get your ass in here now" I yelled towards him. I smirked when I noticed the way he was looking at me, his eyes were dark, and I mean almost black, I knew men in this club didn't like being told what to do, but Happy was a whole other story, he was a man who gave orders, he was a man who was his own boss, he was someone people respected either out of fear or out of how he held himself. Happy is a strong, cold, scary, man. But that doesn't change the fact he is just that, a man. Once Happy got to the ring he had taken off his rings, cut, and his shirt.  
The moment he took his shirt off it made me just want to take him right here in front of everyone. But right now what I wanted more than anything was to fight, I knew all the other guys wouldn't fight me because I was a girl, and they were too much off a pussy. Once Happy climbed into the ring, that's when I turned around and faced the prospect and took my jacket off.  
I knew the moment I took it off people would whisper and mumble to each other about not only my back, but my stomach as well, and even my face. I knew the guys would have questions, but they weren't going to get answers from me. After turning back around to face Happy I had stepped closer to him, close enough for me to whisper in his ear, "are you sure you still want to do this papi?" while whispering in his ear I put my hand on top of his belt buckle, no one else saw since my body was close enough to hide it. When I pulled away from him, he had a smirk on his face but his eyes had darkened more but not out of anger this time but out of lust. I knew I had caught him off guard a little bit, but I knew that it wouldn't distract him. Once I took a few more steps back from him. I looked into his eyes, just like he did in returned. He had wanted me to back down which was not going to happen at all. I took one step forward just like he did, once I put my hands up in a fist getting ready, he did as well.  
That's when I swung first, I didn't think it would land, my first hit, but it did. I knew I didn't punch him hard enough to knock him down but I knew it phased him a little, by the way he stumbled back a little. But to everyone else who was watch I knew that went unnoticed. That's when Happy returned the punches, he had landed all three hits, I knew he had expected me to give up but I just, smirked at him and wiped my lip and spitting out blood, before throwing a few more punches at Happy's face, he happened to get the last hit because, my uncle had called for Happy and the rest of the boys.  
After I had spit out more blood outside the ring I just turned around and climb out of the ring, and grabbing my things from half-sack. After doing so I headed back to my room and put my back on my bed and went and hopped into the shower. After I had washed my hair and body and had shaven down there along with my legs and arm-pits I gotten out, and had started drying my body off then wrapped the towel back around my body. I walked to my bag and grabbed my makeup bag before walking back to the bathroom and did my makeup. before heading back in to the bedroom I had taken the towel off and hung it back up, I walked over to my dresser and grabbed a black lace bra and thong set. After slipping those on I grabbed my dress out of my bag and was about to slip it on when a knock on my door stopped me. "what the fuck do you want" I hissed, "c..c..clay wants you ma'am" the prospect whispered. I just smiled to myself about the fact they send the poor boy to tell me. "alright, tell him I will be there in a minute, my cuilean beag." I replied. After slipping my dress on along with my leather jacket and heels. I grabbed my purse and before leaving my room I made sure both my phones, along with my weapons, and everything else is in there. Then I grabbed my room key and locked the door behind me and put the key away in my purse then I headed out to were clay and the boys were.

3RD POV:  
While Happy and Hayden were in the ring fighting, everyone standing around the ring were either whispering about how Hayden looked like a monster or they fact that Happy was going to hurt her, and also about how stupid she was for going up against a son, let alone Happy Lowman. The other patched members thought she was crazy for stepping into the ring with a killer, but what they didn't know is that she had killed more people then all of them combined. She wasn't just some girl, who was just there for the benefits of men, she was independent, she had promise herself after what happen when she was younger that she would never rely on any man every again. The patched members were on Happy's side of the ring, while Happy and Hayden were fighting, Clay had called for church, which caused the fight to be put to and end. Once all the sons were sitting down around the table Clay started talking. "We got one more day out of Laroy. That's it. Niner's are expecting a huge heroin shipment. Cabines are for protection." He said. Bobby was the first to say anything. "What happens if those Mayans crash that dope party with Laroy's M4S?" he questioned.  
Towards the end of the meeting the men had decided that they were going to go and get their guns back from the Mayans. After church was over the men piled out of the room and back into the main area of the bar. That's when Clay started to smell something disgusting, "what is that smell?" he questioned. All of the men had ended up outside, that's when Gemma pulled up and walked over to Jax. "I tried calling you" she stated. "what is it?" Jax asked his mother. Hayden had walked over by the time Gemma was pulling matches out of her pocket, "I found these matches next to a bunch of her empty thumb bags, Hairy Dog." Hayden had just started shaking her head, she had heard about that place. "shit. It's gotta be the Nords dealing out of the Dog again" Clay had stated. Bobby told them "Darby got out of chino two weeks ago." While the boys went to the hospital, Hayden walked off to her truck, before she was able to hop in her truck Half-Sack had stopped her by asking her "where are you going, I don't thing Clay would like you leaving" she just smirked and look at the kid, "does it look like I give a shit about what clay thinks or wants? And as for where I'm going, my cuilean beag don't worry about it. I have to go handle something" Hayden mumbled at him.  
She turned back to my truck and climbed in and started it and headed down to Hairy Dog's. once Hayden had arrived she parked and climbed out of my truck and walked inside looking around for someone who would look like a Nazi piece of shit. Once she had spotted him she walked up to the bar and got two beers before walking back to the back where the man was sitting playing pool with two of his buddy's. by the time she had gotten to him, she was careful to hide her face from him. She handed him one of the beers before running her hand up and down his arm then to his shoulders. Before he could turn around she had already reached into her purse and had grabbed one of her knifes along with one of her guns from her purse. She had her gun pointed at the two other guys while the knife was against the guy's throat. "would any of you piece of shit like to explain why your selling dope to a fucking pregnant woman?" she hissed at them, but before any of them could answer the door open and in came Jax, following him was Bobby and Chibs. Jax had ended up beating the guy with a pool stick before stabbing him in the buts with before walking out.  
Bobby and Chibs had followed him out while, Hayden waited until the guys were out of ear shot and she bent down next to the guy, "it's a shame that you had to be Nazi loving no good bastard, because you are truly sexy, and I wouldn't have minded to have my way with you for a while" she mumbled. Once the Jax, Bobby, and Chibs were outside Jax told them that he was going to go find Opie. Once Jax had gotten to Opie, he had started to tell him about the Mayans taking their guns and blowing up the place where they were being held.

Hayden's POV:  
After I had walked out of the bar, I notice Chibs and Bobby still waiting outside for me. I just shook my head and kept walking back to my truck, but by the time I go maybe 20 feet from my truck Bobby had said "why were you here? Do you know something we don't?" I simply turned around and walked closer to him. "just because I cannot stand my uncle, does not mean that I don't give a shit about Jax or Gemma, and for god sakes, it was that stupid junkie bitch that I planned to go after first but you guys were there so I didn't want any of you noise mother fuckers stopping me from what I wanted to do.  
So I came here first, now my next stop is the hospital, and if you tell anyone about it I swear on everything I will kill the both of you do you understand?" I hissed at them. As I was turning around to head towards my truck I had stopped and turned around again. "by the way never questioned me about anything ever again, got it?" I growled at them before walking to my truck and climbing in and driving off. I head to the hospital before Chibs and Bobby had the chance to tell Jax or even Clay anything. Once I had arrived at the hospital, I parked before heading inside to find Jax's ex-wife's room. Once I found the nurses desk I asked one of the people back there "where is Wendy Case's room?" I muttered at the preppy blonde nurse.  
I knew by the look on the girls face that she was going to fight me on this. "are you related to her? Only family is allowed back there" she snapped at me. I was already in a pissed off mood so this little girl wasn't helping any. So I reached over the desk and grabbed her by her shirt and pulled her closer to me so my face was in hers "just give me the fucking room number now" I growled in her face. "s..s..she is i..i..in room 250" she stuttered. I let her go before heading to that stupid junkie whore's room, once I got there I could see Gemma standing outside the room. I was kind of hoping to avoid anyone being here. "hey mama" I mumbled when I got closer, "why don't you go home for a few or go get something to eat?" I asked, hoping she would do one of them.

Which thankfully she did go and get something to eat. Once she had walked off and I knew she was far enough away where she wouldn't hear me walk into the room. "fucking junkie whore" I mumbled once I was inside the room and looking at the stupid bitch lay there. I had actually never meet Wendy, I was gone before Jax had met her and gotten with her. I knew she was faking being a sleep to avoid Gemma but this game she was playing wasn't going to fool me. "you know pretending to be sleeping isn't going to make me leave, like it did Gemma, so quit playing games bitch" I growled at her. That's when she turned her head and faced me. "who are you, one of the club's whores?" she asked.  
I just laughed at her, this junkie had a lot of nerves speaking to me the way she did. "for one, watch how you speak to me, got it? And it doesn't matter who I am, just know this" I started, but I walked closer and grabbed her by her throat and squeezed it, and started finishing what I was saying. "if that little boy dies because of you, I will be coming after you, I will kill you and make sure no one ever finds you. Once you get out of this hospital, your going to leave and not come back, that little boy will never know you. You're not going to be his mother, you lost that right once you decided to start shooting up crank.  
Your nothing but a junkie whore who only cares about getting your next high." I growled in her ear. Once I was done I pulled my hand away from her throat while I just watched her she was gasping for air. "you c..c..can't do this" she stuttered out. "see that's the thing I can do what I want, and know this if you tell anyone that we had this little talk then I will come after you and make sure your mouth will permanently stay shut, I will cut your tongue out, do you understand?" I hissed at the stupid bitch. After I knew I had gotten my point across to her, I grabbed my purse and headed for the door. Once I shut the door behind me I heard her start crying.  
I had made it out of the room in time just as Gemma came around the corner with some blonde woman, she was around Gemma's age. "hey baby" she said. "hey momma, I'm going to head to the club house, I need to go and handle someone, if you know what I mean' I told her smirking. She just looked at me and chuckled a little. "which one is it going to be this time?" she questioned. I just winked at her before walking away. While I was walking away I heard the woman next to ask who I was, and Gemma replied with "that girl right there is Satan, she is actually worse than him". Just Gemma saying that made me laugh. I also heard her ask about my face. But I was to far to hear what Gemma had told her. Once I had gotten out of the hospital and to my truck I headed to TM. Once I got to TM I got out of my truck and locked it then headed to my room and slammed the door behind me and locked it before taking my clothes and everything else off then I headed to the bathroom and washed all my make up off. then I walked over to my bed and once my head had hit my pillow I was fast a sleep.

I just wanted to add a little note. I will be posting another chapter tonight, since it's be a while I will add two chapters today. I also wanted to say thank you to those who read and continue to read and follow my story. Also please leave comments, about anything and feel free to message me as well.


	8. I want to be patched in

Hayden's POV:  
I know I told Gemma I was going to basically have a one night stand but the man I wanted to fuck for the night wasn't at TM, like I had thought he would be. So instead I went back to my room and went to sleep. After staying in bed for a few more minutes I had finally decided to get up and take a shower. After my shower I went over to my dresser and started looking for something to wear. After searching for almost 10 minutes I had finally found the outfit I was wanting. I didn't think I had anything going on today but I still decided to dress up a little. After getting dressed. I headed out to the bar, I heard all the talking and laughing from some of the men. I looked down at my outfit again and smirked to myself, know I was going to turn some heads and also piss my uncle off as well.  
I walked behind the bar and grabbed a water, then I walked outside to find Tig sitting on his bike and clay walking by him when I got closer to them I overheard Tig saying "those two dead Mexicans in the warehouse hole, I was hitting them." By the irritated look on Clay's face I could tell Tig was going to get shit for it, not just by Clay but everyone else as well. After a few minutes of them talking I hear my uncle ask "what kind of nasty shit did your momma do to you" and honestly I couldn't take it anymore, I starting laughing, which caused both of them to turn and look at me. When Clay looked over at me, he just shook his head and walked away. While Tig looked me up and down and licked his lips. "what are you doing walking around here dressed like that little lady?" he questioned while still looking me up and down. I just laughed a little and walked closer to him and pushed him down on his bike and then climbed on to his lap so I was facing him and my hips were lined up with his.  
When I was fully sitting down, he took a deep breath and was slowly letting it out. I ran my hand up from his belt to around his neck and I pulled him closer to me and kissed him roughly, then slowly pulled away, smirking. Before he could pull me in for more I got off his lap and then fixed my dress and walked off to the office to see if Gemma needed any help. Thankfully she didn't so I decided to go out of town and find a tattoo and piercing shop, I went back inside the club house to go and grab my purse, I was going to take my bike but I figured with my dress I was just going to drive my truck. So I grabbed my truck keys and made sure I had my weapons before leaving.

3RD POV:  
Clay had called church, all the men walked inside the club house and out all their cell phones into a box before walking in to the room where church is held. After everyone was in bobby shut the door before sitting down. "What were you thinking brother?" Chibs had asked Tig. When Tig replied with "I was thinking about getting my dick sucked twice." The rest of the meeting was about how to get those to dead Mexicans out of that hole.  
To stop the ATF from coming too charming and having that gun warehouse placed at their back doors. After the meeting clay went to meet with Unser. That's when Unser told clay about his wife and doctor making him step down, which would mean that Hale steps up and that would just cause a whole lot of shit that the sons didn't need. After a few Clay had asked Unser "what's the run?". After Clay had gotten the information about the protection run he walked off. While Jax was driving down the street, Hale pulled up next to him "How you doing, Jax? Heard about Wendy and the baby, I'm sorry" Hale said. Jax muttered "thanks". After a few Hale started asking Jax about the warehouse that had blown up. "did you ever hear of a Bluebird supply company?" he asked. "never hear of 'em". After that Jax rode off. Jax rode to the hospital to go see his son Able. His son was put into a room to himself, since he had to be watched, he was born too early. Since Wendy had gotten high off of crank which caused her to almost loose the baby.

Hayden's POV:  
After getting the piercings I wanted I decided I would head back too Charming and talk to Jax about if he knows someone can do the 23 smiley faces I need. I don't plan on telling him what I'm getting because he doesn't actually need to know.  
Once I reached Charming, I decided I wanted to stop at a liquor store to get a pack of cigarettes and some candy. Once I parked my truck I walked into the store and walked over to the candy area and looked for a few before deciding on getting gummy worms, after grabbing those I headed over to the front and when I got there I saw a short blonde girl. "I need 4 packs of camels" I mumbled towards her. After paying for my things I head out to my truck then started head to TM. Which had only taken me maybe five minutes. Once I got there the boy's bikes were all lined up. After parking I got out and headed towards the office to give Gemma a pack of cigarettes. When I was done with that I headed into the clubhouse and to my room.  
While I was walking back to my room I overheard. Jax talking to someone in his room. Which I could only assume he was getting some whores pussy. Once I had gotten to my room I unlocked the door and slammed the door. I had decided I was going to take a nap for a few. After taking off, leaving me in just my bra and thong I climbed into my bed and the moment I closed my eyes I was out.  
I woke up after about a five-hour nap. Since I was still tired I was planning on going back to sleep but when I rolled over to go back to sleep someone slammed my door open. I slowly put my hand under my pillow and grabbed my knife I always kept under my pillow. When whoever barged into my room got close enough to my side of the bed and when they reached out to touch me I grabbed the person and pulled him down to the bed while I jumped on top of them and put my knife to their throat. While I realized it was someone I have never seen before and if I have I don't remember them.  
But this guy made a mistake barging into my room, "give me a good fucking reason why I shouldn't fucking kill you right now" I growled into his face while pushing the knife harder into his throat. "who the fuck are you?" I growled again. "Clay he sent me in here to wake you up" i took the knife of his throat and replaced it with my hand and I squeezed it until I knew he could breath, I through my knife to the side far enough where he wouldn't grab it. I slowly let go of his throat and I slowly got off of him. "tell that dumbass if he wants me to come get me his damn self, understood" I said. When they guy got up he started walking towards the door, but he stopped and turned around. "I don't know who you think you are sweetbutt but you need to learn your fucking place whore" he hissed at me. After doing so he raised his hand and back handed me, I just smirked and turned my back and pretended to go lay back down but I grabbed my knife and when I turned around the guy was already gone, so I decided to just get dressed, After getting dressed I made sure I hand my guns and knives on me before leaving my room, when I walked out into the bar I saw all the guys sitting around and the guy who Clay had sent into my room. He was with Clay and Tig talking and laughing about something. Only if he knew he wouldn't be laughing for too long when I was done with him. No piece of shit gets away with fucking hitting me. I slowly walked over to the bar and grabbed two beers one for me and Tig, after grabbing the beers in one hand I patted Piney on the back when I walked by him. I heard him mumble something to bobby about me not looking too happy. I just ignored him and bobby and kept walking over to Clay and Tig. Once I got there I handed Tig one of the beers in my hand before whispering in his ear, "there you go big daddy" after telling him that I lightly bite his ear before licking his neck, then I pulled away and smirked before turning to Clay "what the fuck do you want" I growled at him.  
the guy that Clay had sent to my room went to step up but Tig shook his head no at the guy but I could tell that just pissed him off more. "let's talk somewhere else" Clay ordered. So I followed him into the room where church is held with Tig following us, along with that other jackass who will get his soon. Once the door was shut, Clay took a seat in his seat at the top of the table. "sit down Hayden" Clay ordered me again. "I'm fine right where I am" I muttered before asking "what do you want". Clay look at Tig and the other guy before telling them to sit down. "I need you to take care of a hit for me, I would ask Happy but he is not here at the moment and he also doesn't speak Russian like you can, so I need you to do this." I looked at him like he was joking, "why the fuck would I do something for you?" I questioned "because if you don't I will tell everyone in this club what you did, do forget I have dirt on you little girl" he growled.  
I just laughed in his face. "you do know what you have on me doesn't mean shit right? You think I care that they know what I did? I did what I had to do you protect myself, so don't start think you have some kind of fucking hold on me. If anything I am the one who owns you and Gemma, remember, would you like that shit to get out uncle" I hissed while stepping into his face. I knew bring up what I knew was a dangerous topic, he has dirt on me he likes to keep reminding me of so why not use my dirt on him if I need to?  
After mentioning the past, it caused Clay to jump um from his seat and grab me by my throat and slam me into the wall. "listen here you little bitch, you and going to do what I tell you to or else. Do you understand me?" he growled into my ear. I knew I didn't have to agree to do it because Clay can't do anything to me that hasn't already been done. But I knew at some point I needed to get along with my uncle if I was going to get what I want and this was the perfect time to strike a deal with my uncle.  
I grabbed his hand and twisted it to get him off of me. "first" I started, I looked over at Tig and the other guy just standing there with a stupid smirk on his face, "you two leave" I mumbled at them, they went to protest but Clay stopped them, "go" he ordered them. They left the room pissed off. "I'll do this but only under one condition, I want to be patched in, I don't want to be a prospect, I want to be fully patched" I told him crossing my arms. He just stared at me then laughed, "you're joking right?" he questioned. "if you want the job done correctly, with no connections leading back to you or who ever it is you are doing this for then no, plus you knew what I wanted when I came here uncle, look I know we have our problems but we are still family, I wanted to come home, it was time to come home. So if I get patched then the job will be done, but only after I'm patched. So what do you say?" I asked my uncle. "I need to talk to the guy first" he mumbled pissed off. "that's fine but Tiggy will be busy for a few hours, so I hope you don't need him" I told him before walking out. When I walked out I saw a few crow eaters hanging around, I'm assuming that there is going to be a party tonight. Before I went and grabbed Tig, I spotted the guy who had woken me up and hit me. I slowly walked up to him, as I was walking up to him I heard Clay yelling my name but I ignored him and kept walking until I was standing in front of the guy when I was in front of him I swung at him, hitting him directly in the jaw, I then tackled him to the ground before I sat on top of his chest with my knees holding his arms down. I just started punching him left and right, I started to see red I knew I should stop before I killed the guy but before I could completely see red, someone had grabbed me and pulled me off the guy.  
I was then handed off to someone else and by the smell of him I could assume it was Jax. I pushed Jax off of me before taking a deep breath and looked around until I saw Tig sitting on the couch with a crow eater in his lap. I walked over to him, with his eyes on me watching my every move. Once I had gotten close enough to them, I looked down at the crow eater and smirked since I was just about to ruin her night. "Tig my room now" I ordered him, I turned around and started walking to my room, as I was walking I could hear Tig shove the whore off of him before running behind me. Once I got to my room I left the door open and waited for Tig to come into my room. Once he walked in I shut the door behind him.


	9. The truth

After shuting the door behind Tig, i grabbed him by the front of his cut, and pulled him towards me while roughly kissing him and pushing him up against the door. I knew Tig was the type of man to want control but i wanted to see how far he would allow me to be in control. I roughly kissed him while running my hands up and down his chest. That seemed that all he could take before he flipped us around and put his hand on my throat,and pushed me harder into the wall before kissing down my jaw to my neck while sucking and biting my neck. Causing me to moan and push my hips into his. Tig then grabbed me by my hair, while kissing back up my neck to my lips while walking us over to the bed, where he pulled my hair harder while shoving me on my knees. When i got to my knees he started to unbuckle his pants and pulled his pants and boxers off, when tigs boxers came down his semi hard cock was right in my face. I lifted my hand up to grab a hold of his dick but before i could he slapped my hand away. "Open your mouth now" he growled. The way he was demanding me to do something had me starting to get wet. I did as he said and opened my mouth for him. Once my mouth was opened all the way he grabbed me by my hair again and shoved his cock into my mouth. Once his cock was in my mouth i used my tongue to slowly lick around his shaft. Once i heard tig moan, I knew he liked it. The sound of him moaning made me even more wet. After a while Tig pulled out of my mouth, standing me up. He had started taking my clothes off. Once they were all off, Tig shoved me on the bed face first and lifted my hips up into the air. I looked over to see Tig taking his cut and shirt off before getting down onto his knees behind me. Once i felt Tig's tongue against my folds i pushed my hips back into him. Which only caused him to pulled away and smake my ass hard leaving a red mark on my ass. I moaned out when his hand connected with my ass. "Just fuck me already god damnit" i hissed at him, only causing him to laugh. I had heard Tig spit on something whis i am assuming was his hand before it connected to my pussy folds. My hips pushed back into his hand wanting more of him. I was going to take control but before i could i felt him push my back down and slam himself into me causing me to scream out, i wasn't use to him yet so it hurt a little having his cock shoved quickly into me. He didn't wait for me to get use to his size before he started slamming in and out of me.

After me and Tig were done i had told him he can either leave or stay i didn't care. I got up and took a shower in the connected bathroom. After washing my hair and body i turned the water off before climbing out. After climbing out i wrapped a towel around my body and walked back into the room. Honestly i had expected Tig to be gone before i came back but, nope he was sitting right on the bed covered with a sheet. "I thought you would have left" i mumbled to him before walking over to my bag. While i was grabbing a long sleeve samcro t-shirt which was tight on me and i also grabbed some tight cotton short shorts as well, which hugged my him,thighs, and ass tightly. Once i had put them on Tig started talking. " i was going to leave but i wanted answers, i want the truth." he stated before grabbing a cigarette and litghting it. I grabbed my hair brush and sat down on the bed before looking at him while i brush the knots out of my hair. "I dont do nun of this sharing bullshit,after sex, got it" i mumbled before putting the brush down and grabbed his cigatette from him. Tig just looked at me before sitting up. "No i want to know the truth behind why you left, not the bullshit story your going to feed people who ask, your going to tell me" he stated to me. "And what if i don't tell you huh? What are you going to do?" i hissed at him. Tig just grinned and looled over to his cut before saying "if you ever want to wear one of those you will tell me, i can make sure you don't get patched in" he smirked at me knowing that was one thing i wanted. " i will tell you but you will never bring it up again do you understand me, not even to Clay, no one. You knowing the truth about the past will get you killed. You repeating this to anyone will cause them to run to Clay, which will be bad not only for you but me as well." i stated as i sat down next to him.

"You guys don't know how Clay and Gemma truly are. You men only see the show they put on. My father and Clay were the same, the only difference between the two was my father had me and my mother while Clay only had Gemma. Well my father was nothing but an abusive drunk who got off on beating me, along with my mother. I'm sure Clqy made up some story on how some rival club of SAMCRO murdered my parents. Thats not what happened. I killed my parents. I tortured them, i fid what they did to me. I caused them the pain they caused me...i kept the alive until they just died from the torture, my mother only lasted half way through the frist week, while my father lasted two and a half weeks." i mumbled to him before looking at him. "But that doesn't explain why you hate Clay so much" he said. " i have some many reasons to hate clay, he knew what my father was doing to me...my father wasn't only physically abusing me but sexually while my piece of shit mother watched. Clay knew about the sexual abuse, Gemma didn't know about that. She knew about everything else though...i left because i was protecting your guys...i didn't give to shits about what happen to clay and gemma but the rest of you didn't need to be pinned down for something that had nothing to do with you. Clay should have never brought you boys into this shit." i stated while standing up. " your parents. Were they the ones to cause all these scars?" he asked. I just shook my head before saying " no, they only caused some of them" after i was done i grabbed my things and walked out into the bar before going out to the bar. I was ready to go home tonight, after spending a few nights here i needed to go home so once i was done saying bye to Piney and a few others i walked out to my truck and drove home.


	10. hit woman

Hayden's POV:

The next morning after lying in bed for a while I had finally decided to get up and take a shower. Once I had finished washing and shaving everything I climbed out just as my phone started ringing. I wrapped the towel around my body and walked back into my room and over to my phone that was sitting on my dresser but when I had gotten to it. It wasn't the phone I used for the club. I walked over to my safe and unlocked it and put the password into it then grabbed one of the other burners I have in it. After grabbing the correct phone, I didn't even check to see who the number was because only people who are my clients have this number. "Harrison" I mumbled into the phone. " I need a job done, and I need it done today before 10 o'clock A.M." the man grumbled back into the phone. I knew who it was just by the sound of his voice. It was Galen O'Shay, a member of the true IRA. I have also done about 10 other hits for him in the past. As I was about to talk again but he started talking again, "you will find a package will everything you need it. The first have the payment will be in there, you will receive the rest once the job is finished" he stated before ending the call. I put the phone back in the safe before closing it and walking over to my closest looking for something quick to on so I can walk out and grab the package out of the mailbox. After throwing on a large shirt and some boy short boxers. I skipped on some slippers before walking out the mailbox. As I was walking out I looked around to see if anyone was around that shouldn't be. As I was looking down the left side of the block I noticed two bikes just sitting a few houses down facing my house. I knew that clay would have people watching my every move I didn't really give to shits. But because I had to go do this hit I couldn't afford people following me. I turned around and walked back in the house before shutting and locking the door behind me. I walked upstairs and grabbed my phone and called clay. Once he picked up the phone I ordered him "you either have those men of yours leave right how or neither of them will coming home to the club or their families" I growled before hanging up on him. I looked out the window until I say the two men driving off down past my house. Once they were gone I went back to sitting on my bad only this time it was to open the package. Once I opened the package I started laying everything out so I can see everything at once. After everything was out of the package and onto my bed, I grabbed the first page that had the targets locations and home address and where they will all be at three o'clock. The targets were three people. After reading that paper I picked up the three photos of each person. In every photo they each had a jacket saying ATF. Once I was done reading all the information about the people, I grabbed everything back up and put it back into the package it was left in and then walked over to my safe and putting everything into then grabbing my burner phone that Galen called, afterwards I shut the safe and made sure it was locked before throwing the phone on my bed and walking to my closet and looking for clothes to wear. After Changing clothes I went down stairs and went into my secret room that held all my weapons and grabbed my favorite sniper with a silencer attached too it. after grabbing everything needed i went behind my house to the alley and i go to my jeep that i have hided under a tarp. i pull the tarp off and hit the button on the keys and i load everything into the back and then climb in, i pull out the paper with the location of where they will all be and i check the time and see that is two o'clock, it would take me an hour to get to Lodi, i pull out of the alley and start heading towards Lodi. once i get to Lodi i go to the location and check for the best place that will give me a view of the whole area, i turn around and see an old building that didn't look like it had been in use for a long time, i grab everything i need to do these hit's. once i get to the top of the building i get my sniper set up and i pull out the photo's of the ATF agents and look through the scope of my sniper and i see that they are at some gathering for law enforcement. i think to myself that is a suicide mission, but i still have to get the job done. once i locate the first target and i look for the other two and i see that they are all within one feet away from each other. i double check to make sure the safety is off i look back through the scope and i shoot the first target and then the next two targets before they could run off. i hurriedly pack everything back up before climbing down the starts attached to the side of the building, i run to my jeep and throw everything into the back seat before i jump in and i make sure my hood and glasses are up before i start driving by the gathering, once i get back to Charming i drive back to the alley behind my house and grab the case that is holding my sniper and then lock and cover the jeep back up before heading into my house through the back door. i run upstairs and put the sniper under my bed before grabbing the keys to my bike i grab the burner phone and call Galen O'Shay back, when he answers i say "it's done" and hangs up. "now i need to find one to tattoo 26 smiley faces" i mumble to myself while walking out the door heading towards TM on my bike.

3rd POV:

"No one will truly understand the story of Hayden Harrison's past unless they hear it from her and her only and even than they will never truly or completely understand what made who the way shit is, Heartless. She doesn't care what happens to her as long as those she loves and cares for are safe, everything she has done and will do is for those she loves. No matter what has happen between her and Clay she will still what she needs to do to make sure he is safe, but she will also take his life if she feels she needs to. no one knows what she has been through and she prefers it that way, the less they know the better, yes the club with have hate towards her but she is okay with that since that means they are alive, and not barring the scars she is or six feet in the ground, like the people she killed to protect the club. half the people she meets will never truly understand the meaning of taking a life, but she does countless of times, and she will keep doing it until she is satisfied, she may never be satisfied. this is how her life is and will always be, she was turned into a monster because of her parents, they are the reason behind her anger, behind why she will always be like this even if they are dead. /p


End file.
